August 4, 2009

Prejudice #4

"What's up, bro?"

"Good to see you, bro."

"Hey, bro."


Yes, it's true, I hate this pronoun. (Is it technically a pronoun?)

According to Urban Dictionary:

1. Friend; commonly used in greetings.

What’s up bro?
I vouch for Todd, we’ve been bros since way back.

2. An alpha male idiot. This is the derogatory sense of the word (common usage in the western US): white, 16-25 years old, inarticulate, belligerent, talks about nothing but chicks and beer, drives a jacked up truck that’s plastered with stickers, has rich dad that owns a dealership or construction business and constantly tells this to chicks at parties, is into extreme sports that might be fun to do but are uncool to claim (wakeboarding, dirt biking, lacrosse), identifies excessively with brand names, spends a female amount of money on clothes and obsesses over his appearance to a degree that is not socially acceptable for a heterosexual male. The female equivalent of the Bro is the Bro Hoe. Bro Hoes are Bro groupies that hang around bros, many of whom are actually quite hot and are thus spared the scorn that is heaped on Bros.

So this fantastically-awfully overused word is completely repelling to me. Really? You couldn't think of your friends name and just use that? You lack the ability to just leave the "bro" term of endearment off?

You know the people who use this word. You know the people who use it an acceptable amount (I'm not sure there's an acceptable amount for "bro" but we'll let that slide for now). You KNOW the people who use it in every sentence that comes out of their mouth, especially when they get excited.

For example:
It's a Monday around noon; I'm at work; I walk to Starbucks (not to get a drink) to sit at their tables with umbrellas; a reasonably attractive 20-something male walks over and sits close by; he's making a phone call. This is what I listen to for the next 20 minutes or so...of course I tuned him out after about 45 seconds:
"Hey, man, what's going on? This lacrosse camp is awesome, bro, seriously I, like, just get up in the morning watch 2 games, eat lunch, watch 2 games and then that's it. Bro, it's the best job ever. (silence as he listens) OH-BRO, let me tell you about the other night. Tom*, Dick*, Harry* and I went out to the bar. Bro, we talked to the hottest chick. She was like...yeah, you know, bro. And then bro, we met her friend and she wasn't as cool, but bro this other girl was awesome." BLAH BLAH BLAH.

If you say "bro" one more time I'm going to punch you in the face.

So I'm not dating anyone who uses the word "bro."

The end.

*Names have been changed because I have no idea what they were.

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