2020-->2021

 Faves from 2020! 

one: vv into these (new to me) IG accounts: 

whatkatefinds : Katie does beauty+lifestyle+fashion; she's into slow fashion, thrifty finds, nail color and lipstick. AND skincare. I have been influenced, but she's also team shopping less and mixing it all up. I love that. 

gocleanco : water, bleach, and tide. This Canadian based cleaning company with the most satisfying before and afters. 

halfbakedharvest : I want to make everything Tieghan cooks and bakes on her IG.

sgardnerstyle : Shavonda is Team Color and Pattern. Her home and projects are so inspiring and beautiful. 

[I could also add about 10 more accounts to this, if you're looking for anything/anyone specific or inspiring LMK. I LOVE connecting people to inspiring accounts.]

two: SKINCARE BAY-BEEE

My skin has never been better. ☺️ I have a couple of steps in my winter routine I want to get better at, but OMGOODNESS, I have a cleansing balm, cleanser, toner, hydrating spray, two serums I love (this and this), under eye cream, acid, retinol, weekly mask...I'm still looking for my holy grail moisturizer and sunscreen. I really like this tinted one, but I cannot be convinced to wear anything tinted with my mask. The best part is that none of it is crazy expensive, but I legitimately love every step. I also really like these washcloths. I use the corner in the morning for my toner (instead of a cotton square) and then the whole thing at night when I wash everything off. 

three: diffusing those essentials

I got this diffuser for my birthday and I've had my Plant Therapy oils going like crazy. [full disclosure, that link will get you $10 off and the same for me]. I had another diffuser (none of them have been BEAUTIFUL), but it only worked for 2 hours or so and this one has a one hour, 3 hour, 6 hour, and continuous setting. GIMME ALL THOSE CITRUS SMELLS. 

They really boost my mood. Is that a thing? 

four: I learned so much about antiracism, shopping small, and mental strength this year. It's ruined most TV for me, increased my political awareness, connected me more closely with friends, and I like to think I'm better for all of it. 

Looking forward in 2021! 

one: reading What Kind of Woman by Kate Baer

 

I'm not a poetry person, but I think this could be right up my alley. I ordered this book last week from my local bookstore, but she has a host of links on her website. 

two: GETTING REAAAAAALLY GOOD AT COFFEE

I bought a moka pot and a burr grinder. THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES I WILL BE GOOD AT THIS. I am complete crap at the french press, but that doesn't mean I'm not still trying and obsessing over every James Hoffmann youtube video. 

three: making cookie dough

Meet Ida. Our goal for 2021 is for Ida and I to make at least a dough a month. That's 12 doughs. And maybe try some other goodies. WE SHALL SEE. Is this the year it becomes a FOR REAL REAL side hustle? eeeeeeeep! 

What are your 2021 plans?
xoxo

for the love of...spectacles

In middle school I decided having glasses would be cool. Of course my eyes were fine, but I wanted them anyway. Having no actual money of my own, my mom said no.

When my eyes actually went bad about a year later it took quite a bit of convincing that I was actually seeing a blurry chalkboard as opposed to being a manipulative 12 year old. My first pair of wire rimmed tortoise shell frames were acquired in 7th grade.

I was done with them by fall of 8th grade. Playing volleyball with glasses was annoying and I was over using a glasses strap to keep them on my face. I rocked that strap for sports prior to contacts. Have no doubt, I was totally cool.

I pretty much wore contacts through college and then I boarded the glasses train around 2008.

In 2012 I'd been reading blogs and found my first pair of online glasses [for free] and since then I've been hooked on cheap frames. Granted, I have a super-low prescription and I don't spend more than $15 a pair AND returns are annoying so I'm stuck if I get something I don't actually want, but it's been OK for me.

Plus, I didn't have insurance for a while there, so cheap glasses it was!

I really like these ones and I wear them quite a bit even though they're out of the heavy rotation right now. I can't remember where I got them, I'm pretty sure I just googled around until I found some I liked after I was inspired by this pin on pinterest a couple of years ago. 

I think these were my first colorful frames. LOVE. 

The first frames I ordered. I don't wear them any more because the clear parts don't look so clear anymore. I'd totally get another pair though if they made them, but unfortunately they don't. I went as far as emailing the company and they replied, but nothing. Sad day. This brand does have some gold glitter frames though. *heart eye emoji* I attempted to replace them, but the glasses I got just didn't live up to these standards. )-:

[These were the attempted replacements.]

Zenni frames that I never wear. I have a big head and I feel like they're just a touch too small...so, I got another pair. [hint: see below]

These aren't available anymore, but they're totally Sally Jessy Raphael sized frames. They're the famous frames that the Grandpa doesn't love. 

I loved the green ones so much, I got them in purple too. 

These were my last pair of glasses from the optometrist when I went in 2010. Don't be like me. Get your eyes checked. 

Not my favorite pair, plus they're scratched horribly. 

HEY-O! CLEAR PINK GLASSES. <3 br="">

These are my three favorite pairs right now.

glasses

I wore these glasses for most of Christmas when I was with family in Fort Wayne. 

At one point my grandpa looked at me and said "I really like your glasses." 

"Really?" 

"Nope."

heh. 

**edit: I don't in any way think this was a slam from my grandpa. I mostly thought it was hilarious. He's the kind of old-school gentleman who always compliments a lady, but totally doesn't get the trendiness of giant glasses. I get plenty of compliments other places on my glasses that I'm not worried about my ego. (-;

week one down [many weeks to go]

So, I’m one week into my first grown-ass nursing job.

I’m happy to report that I haven’t killed anyone yet. It’s my daily prayer, and I feel like God is totally with me on this one. [You think I’m joking, but I’m not.]

I have two preceptors for day shift. [I’ll have a night shift preceptor too, but that’s not for a few more weeks.] Preceptors are experienced, partner nurses who teach you things and help make sure you don’t kill anyone. They are beautiful, smart, patient, delightful people. I grovel at their feet and revel in their wisdom. They make sure you learn things you may not know.

The things I don’t know are plentiful.

I mean, I pretty much feel like I learned NOTHING in nursing school. It’s definitely painful to the ego. I spent quite a few hours in this exact same Emergency Department, but I’m pretty sure something in my brain has been cleaned out between then and now. That’s the only logical reason, right? It’s not because I’m spending 95% of my time comparing myself to nurses with years and years of experience and I have, oh, a few weeks of experience, right?

It IS probably because I spent most of school saying, “I’m going to be a midwife, that doesn’t matter to me! I’ll know a little and that will be enough!”

Well, that joke is on me.

I’m still reading my textbooks.

Now it's [past] time to get down to business.

That’s my quick update on life. I’m only working three days a week and I still feel like I have no time. I’ll get used to it eventually, right? My poor brain is having a rough go.

shenanigans

During my capstone experience I had started to transition to taking on complete care of a couple of our patients. For a seasoned nurse this would probably be minimally stressful, but for a newbie like me I was hoppin’ with trying to figure out discharge for this patient, getting that patient to a test, and waiting for the physician to let me know what was next for the other patient.

Things started to slow down around 12:30 [that’s am] as they sometimes do. [Sometimes 12:30 is when things are just starting to get busy.] Two nurses came up to me while I was charting and told me they had a new patient headed my way.

OK, give me the scoop.

The patient would be over soon, but they had this specimen that needed to be run up to the lab. A specimen? They had a urinal with some ice and this curved brown…thing…inside it.

They said that the patient had come in after this…thing…had fallen off of his privates. [Normally, I’d just use anatomical terminology, but internet searches can get weird and I don’t want weird randoms stumbling upon this just because I said peeeenis-t.] In my head I’m thinking, 'OK. This is plausible. Maybe he was degloved in some weird accident.’ [Don’t click the link on degloved unless you have a strong stomach. Suffice it to say it’s an accident that basically takes the skin off of an area of the body.] I read Figure 1, I’ve seen the TLC show. People come in to the emergency department with weird stuff from bedroom adventures. This is not a time for judgement.

E looks at me and says, "Let’s go up to the lab. It’s all you to explain this and give the handoff of the specimen.”

OK. I can handle this.

We silently rode up the elevator. I had to figure out in my head how to explain this specimen when I gave it to the lab technician.

We arrive. I ring a doorbell. I am sweating.

I start to explain, “Uh…we had a patient come in. This piece came from his genitals. Apparently it fell off, we’re not sure how…and they don’t know what it is but they’re worried about something...”

At this point the technician looks horrified, she doesn’t even want to take this out of my hands. I probably started to look a little panicked because E starts giggling.

And giggling.

She can’t stop giggling.

Then she says, “You’ve just been initiated, friend.”

…uh.

Those dorks totally pranked me…and since I’m gullible it wasn't the last time. The other story you’ll have to ask for in person.

Anyway, these are my new co-workers.

I couldn’t be more excited to work with them. This time I’m watching you, nurses.

#morningwalkswithamy

I love walking.

I'd probably walk everywhere if I could, but sometimes it's not the most...reasonable...mode of transportation. For example: after 10pm in my neighborhood by myself. I sometimes think about making intelligent choices, Mom.

Nia and I have had ants in our pants about our grown-up nursing jobs to start [she has one, I'm still waiting on DreamJob2015] and we get together for 7am morning walks around Indianapolis. This morning we hoofed it 18,470 steps.

Of course, we started by walking to the doughnut shop. Priorities.

There's a doughnut at General American Donut Company called The Bennie that was possibly the best thing to cross my lips in forever. It was heaven. Go get yerself one if you're in Indy. Then walk 5 miles to work it off. (-;

We followed paths and found flowers and trees and buildings and other delights.

"Look at mah leg! LOOK!"

Then we were back in my 'hood and walked on some of the smaller side streets I hadn't been down before. And I fell in love.

With a house.

It was tiny and beautiful and I wanted it.

Can I be a homeowner? Can I mow a lawn? Can I unplug a toilet? How much can I take out for a mortgage? Who will loan this new-graduate, pre-job human being money? Am I a grown-up? I love this house.

Then I did some more research and freaked out a little. I'm so not ready to adult. Maybe I'm ready to adult? House payments? Taking care of things? I can do that....maybe? No. YES. I can do that.

How much would payments be on that casita?

Nevermind.

Then I fell out of love.

It was a torrid, fast, tumultuous romance.

But now I'm thinking about homeownership. WHAAAAT.

it started two years ago

This week timehop informed me that I posted these pictures two years ago:

I had just gotten back from a weekend at the lake and I had a chemistry class that night because I was CERTAIN I wasn't getting into IUPUI, so I was taking a pre-requisite course for another program. I opened my packet and burst into tears.

The tears were happy tears.

I don't think I even realized how much I had hoped to get into this program at the time. I'm sure I wasn't on the first list of students to get in because my GPA wasn't exactly stellar [not that it was terrible, BUT definitely not at the top of the food chain], but I got in and started in August 2013.

As an accelerated program, we had five semesters over the course of 20 months to our BSN. Between studying on campus by 4:30am after a 12-hour shift to endless hours writing care plans, most days I’m just glad I made it through. I wasn’t the best student…I finished solidly in the middle of the pack [I know this because our capstone selection was based on grades]. It doesn’t really matter to me - ask me again if I apply for grad school and I have to justify some of those Bs - at this point I KNOW THINGS.

I may not be the greatest test-taker in the world, but I can assess the crap out of a patient. I pay attention to details. I can multi-task and juggle things about as well as any new nurse should, those skills take time and I’ll get better. I can anticipate and think outside of the box and question orders…sometimes. I’ll get better. I can contribute to the team to provide good patient care. My point is that I’m going to be the kind of nurse I would want taking care of my loved ones because I won’t stop until I’m busy kickin’ ass and takin’ names. Can't stop won't stop.

Last Monday I took my boards, the NCLEX, and it was terrible, horrible, no good, very bad. I hadn’t told anyone my test date, but due to several unforeseen changes, I had to borrow a car and “why?” was asked. Uh…well, it’s my exam day? Needless to say, everyone in the family knew and I definitely didn't want to talk about it. At. All.

Immediately following the exam, I began checking the site for quick results. It says up to 48-hours, but surely they’ll know before then, right? How long can it take to grade a computer test?
11:00am: nothing.
11:32am: nothing.
11:57am: nothing.
12:11pm: nothing.
-break-
2:09pm: nothing.
-distraction from the niece-
3:48pm: nothing.
4:09pm: nothing.
5:21pm: nothing.
-dinner-
6:43pm: nothing.
7:17pm: nothing.
8:33pm: nothing.
10:24pm: nothing.

GO TO BED, AMY.

I woke up and pulled out my computer Tuesday morning.

I’m done. I’m an RN. I’m a BSN.




I need a job, yo.

well, it happened

As soon as it started I knew I was in for something crazy. Dangerous. Exciting. Difficult. Thought provoking. Fun. Meaningful. Life changing.

My capstone [think of it like student teaching for nurses] experience has been all of that. The first few weeks I stood firmly at my "I'm here because it was my second choice and my fist choice [L&D] wasn't available to me" podium. I'll just keep my thoughts on enjoying my emergency department time to myself thankyouverymuch.

Then I started talking about my obsession with Larry. And the amount of time I spend on Figure 1. And writing notes on conditions and expectations. And looking up treatments so I would know what to anticipate. And asking doctors questions. 

One night my preceptor [she'd be like my supervising teacher, let's call her E] looked at me around 2am, "Are you sure you want to do OB? I just think you'll be bored. You're interested in so many things." 

"Well...ummm...I can't have this conversation right now." 

Obviously, I'm very mature.

Then her statement festered and bubbled in my head for a week. I talked it out with two of my closest nursing loves. They literally looked at each other and then at me and said, "Duh. You light up when you talk about the ED." Well, crap.

You guys: I STINKING LOVE THIS. 

I tried really hard not to, but I do. 

Beyond just being an adrenaline rush [because let's be honest, I definitely like that part too], some of my favorite moments are taking care of patients who trust your opinion [even when you say, "let me check and get back to you"], talking with physicians who want to know what you think, and working with passionate nurses who support each other. I love getting to learn about so many different conditions. I love seeing this huge spectrum of patients with things ranging from a cough to multiple life-threatening conditions and getting to be a part of healing those people. I love the population that my site serves. I love that my mind is on fire with all the things I'm learning. 

This is totally biting me in the ass from when during my critical care class I said, "This is interesting, but it's not what I'm going to do!" 

When E and I finally sat down after a crazy evening with a plethora of patients, we talked about it. I most definitely didn't initiate this because I was totally scared of this conversation and wanted to pretend like it didn't need to happen. Denial, friends. E says I wouldn't have struggled with her confrontation if I hadn't already been thinking about it [so true]. I also walked away at least twice during this conversation. Shall I remind you of my maturity? I feel so naked and vulnerable.

Dangit. Why did I get a preceptor who was a) so intuitive and b) willing to call me out on my bullshit?  

Most people wouldn't have said anything. They would have had the usual conversation with me where I say, "These are my goals. This is why I'm in nursing school. This is my life plan." NO ONE HAS QUESTIONED IT, I think because it does seem fitting for me, but what if this is better? What if I do this for awhile and then I do the other? What if I never do the other and I'm supposed to just do this?

This is some scary business for me. What do I want now? What should I want to do with my nursing career? I'm done with school in 30 days. THIRTY DAYS.

*heart palpitations* 

*sweating* 

*deep breaths*

My comfort is that I know that nursing is where I'm supposed to be. If you were privy to deeper conversations with me over the past 10-12 years [YEARS] you know that talking about my future and what I was meant do with my life was a HUGE struggle. You saw the tears. You saw the searching. You saw the desire to do something meaningful, but not knowing what that meant.

So...that's where I am right now. Excited. Scared. Anxious. Sleepless.

Hopeful.

sassy pants

One of the last-semester of nursing school [it's my LAST SEMESTER, Y'ALL!] tasks is a picture. You've seen the picture collages composites for nursing students? I googled it for you:

Anyway, we do that.

The company that does ours has all the women wear a black drape and pearls and the men wear a shirt and tie. If you know me even a little, you know I got my panties in a wad about this. As WOMEN in the PROFESSION of nursing we're wearing a black drape? You may typically recognize this outfit from sorority pictures. I have nothing against sororities, but nursing is NOT a sorority. [I feel very emphatic, hence all my capital letters.]

So, as a kick-off into this professional activity in the picture I will use for my license verification online your expectation is for me to wear a piece of fabric that sits on the very edge of my shoulders--almost ready to fall off--and a string of pearls around my neck? I'm not a super-conservative dresser. I don't have a need to cover my body from my manubrium [that's the bone just below the hollow at the base of your neck] to my toes.

BUT, but, this just feels so sexualized when I want the profession I'm joining to be, well, professional. Respected. Important. Valued.

So I wore my drape nearly to my manubrium. Basically as high as possible.

"That's supposed to be at the edges of your shoulders."
"Yeah, I'm not going to do that."
"But you'll look different than everyone else."
"Yup."
". . ." *sigh* [I'm sorry I'm making your job more difficult, Photographer. It's not about you.]

Definitely my better angle, amiright?

Obviously I still needed to be a part of the composite AND I needed to document publicly my disagreement to the standard of dress.
Obviously. 

Later in the day I called my mom and I'm telling her all about how I stood up for my profession! I was a woman with standards!

And you know what she said to me?

"Amy. Can't you just do what you're asked for once?"



That's what the woman who raised me said. Like she hasn't known since I was two.


Sassy pants: all day every day.

stuff in my stocking

Don't worry, Mom, I'm doing all the hard work for you! (-:

My mom and I have this holiday tradition: She gets busy with school stuff in November and December. Then when I get home around December 23, we spend 24 hours shopping like crazy people (because I've traveled home and obviously we have to spend time together) and then I know all the presents I get and she's annoyed because I know all the presents I'm going to get. It's been happening for, oh...about 10 years, so it's our thing now, right?

I'm making a list to fill up my stocking! HEY-O! I tried to keep everything around $10 and under, but a few items go over that threshold.

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SO Animal Ballerina Slippers, $8.99

I walked around for 30 minutes with these slippers in Kohl's last week (good thing I didn't get it since they're now $8.99 and last week they were $14.99!) trying to decide who needed these before realizing that basically I wanted them. The Lambs are pretty cute too. 

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Maldon Sea Salt, $5.89

HAVE YOU TRIED THIS?? I love every sweet thing topped with a sprinkle of salt and this is a chunky, lightly crunchy delicious salt that also looks pretty. *sigh* 

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Love Lives,medium size seafoam embroidery pattern on fabric, $11

Pam Garrison made this adorable embroidery pattern. This would be a great project to sit next to my chair when I have time to embroider!

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PEANUT BUTTER COOKIE LARABAR, $1/bar

Three ingredients: peanuts, dates, sea salt. I'm obsessed. I can't stop eating these bars. Never pay more than $1 per bar, and if you find them at $0.75 or less BUY THEM ALL. 

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Alaska Knits Women's Trekking Crew Sock, $8

EIGHT DOLLARS FOR SOCKS? Worth every penny. I have one pair of these and I love them. They're so warm and cozy and amazing on my feet. I need more. 

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Trader Joe's Chocolate Coconut Almonds, $4.99

I picked up a container of these a few weeks ago and they are little baby Almond Joy's, but even better. Seriously. I have strong feelings about this. If you don't have a TJ's nearby and you need - NEED - to try them, let me know. 

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I Like Coffee as More Than a Friend Mug, $16

Because...obvi. 

In other news, Emily McDowell knows the things I think in my brain. 

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Desert Essence Natural Toothpaste in Mint, $5

We always get some dental hygiene products in our stockings...OK, it's usually a toothbrush, but since I'm hoping for this one, I'll take some toothpaste! You know how some natural toothpastes kind of make your mouth feel...meh? Not this one. It's the champion of natural toothpaste in my book.

[If you're not asking yourself why I have a book of natural toothpaste options, you're not being as good of a friend to me as you could be.]

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nerdwax, $10 (or 3/$20)

Y'all. THIS. My friend teacher-Sarah was complaining about how she doesn't wear her glasses because they slide down her nose and searched the interwebs to make this discovery. It is BRILLIANT. I've just been suffering with the fingerprints from pushing my glasses up and I don't actually have to! WHAAAAAAA?!? She bought the 3 tubes and gifted me one: I'm a smitten kitten. 

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Belle, $16.95

I rented this at the redbox a few weeks ago and I adored this story. If you haven't seen it [the only person I know who's watched it is my grandma who got it because I told her she'd love it], spend the $1.20 renting it and let me know what you think! 

Those are ten things I'd love to pull out of my stocking on Christmas morning! What did I miss that you can't wait to see?