relator

StrengthsQuest was the bane of my existence at McPherson College when I was there. Shortly after being hired, I was asked to complete this questionnaire to tell me what my five Strengths were. I got them and then was promptly defined by those five Strengths throughout our fall training. Umm...I am not my Strengths.

Well, I am my Strengths, but I am not only defined by these Strengths. Isn't that was makes us, as humans, interesting? The complexity of who we are? I'm not just these five things. I'm so much MORE.

Dangit.

Plus, the person who was pigeonholing me is a crazy bitch. Sorry, it's the only word to describe her. Our relationship was less than stellar. One of the top reasons I left.

It's almost blissful to not have her in my life any more. Ahh...but enough of that nonsense, this blog is about ME dangit. I'm not wasting my thoughts on HER.

I've been thinking about my Strengths: Empathy, Relator, Includer, Developer and Activator. (Basically, I like people, I like to know people, and I like to get stuff done.) I think about them mostly because when I feel that these areas of my life (in addition to other aspects not defined by these 5 strengths) are unfulfilled, my overall satisfaction of myself also declines.

wah-wah.

I was thinking about my Relator Strength (Definition of Relator: People who are especially talented in the Relator theme enjoy close relationships with others. They find deep satisfaction in working hard with friends to achieve a goal.) yesterday when I read this posting on another blog (This Is Reverb, it's a hip pastor in Ohio who likes to cook and take pictures, sounds like stuff I'm interested in, right?):

1. Am I okay with having surface-level relationships with everyone?
2. Outside of my family, who can I really trust?
3. Do I have people in my life that I can call at 3am when everything is falling apart?
4. Are there people around me who can strengthen me when I’m weak?
5. Am I using my God-given gifts, talents, or abilities to serve my friends?
6. Am I investing MORE or LESS into the relationship than the person I’m trying to build a relationship with?

Steps towards authentic community:

1. Choose wisely. You don’t need to be friends with everyone.
2. Get coffee, have someone over for dinner, go play a game, etc..
3. Be intentional. Ask a deeper question // reciprocate.
4. Work at it. Don’t assume a relationship is fine.
5. Be transparent and authentic yourself.

Whoa.

Hello.

I'm still pondering. Some answers are easy and others...not so much. Is it that I don't want to admit the truth about myself to myself or that I'm unwilling?

Such deep thoughts.