July 13, 2011

Heterosexual Life Partners

Let's break that down. 
Heterosexual: as a woman I like men, it’s true. (-:

Life partners: we can live well together.

Thus, heterosexual life partners, it’s better than saying “roommate.” Pffft, who needs this old school terminology when you can call your extra-special roomie your heterosexual life partner? I use this because I think it describes our relationship perfectly. But, mostly because I think it’s hilarious. Just say “my friend, _________, who could be my heterosexual life partner” and gage the reaction of who you’re talking to.

Especially if I’m talking to a man. I’m not sure if it’s the “heterosexual” part or the “life partners” part, but it’s apparently weird. Com’on, people, what are you scared of?!?

Now that I think about it, with my unluckiness and men, I probably shouldn't be sharing this. 

I have two of these people in my life. Just two. I have loads of friends [whom I love lots and lots and lots] but just two heterosexual life partners.
1. Sarah
2. Megan

They’re also the two people I’ve lived with for the longest not counting family. Not my oldest friends. Not necessarily my closest friends at times. But, my HLPs none-the-less. 

Sarah and I were randomly assigned roommates in college. She’s the one I visited in Hawaii. I remember walking into my room as an 18-year-old college freshman thinking, “She’s a cross country runner. She’s been here for a week and will have so many more friends than me. This is bound to be terrible. What if she’s crazy? What if she doesn’t like me? What if she has ugly bed linens [true thought]? Wha--wait a minute, is that a sign that says she’s a vegetarian? What the heck kind of weirdo is this?!?!?” [Sarah was the first vegetarian I had ever met. I led a sheltered Kansas life, it’s true.] In approximately 12 hours we were friends for life. I love her.
Sarahb & me
Is this flattering or what?

Megan, you may remember from her stalking tendencies. Weirdo. She’s been my roommate for the past three years and was my most difficult goodbye in May. I think I cried on and off to Greensboro. That’s about 45 minutes down the road. After 45 minutes of my crying and Hank’s yowling, I decided I was only allowed to listen to happy music. I love her. I miss her. If she couldn’t have babies and wanted one I would have her babies.
Megb & me 

Sarah started the heterosexual life partners theory. When you have a friend who you live a balanced, pleasant life with, basically living in a partnership without sexual feelings/marriage and more than just sharing a house. My HLP knows knows when something’s up. They know how to relax with me. They know how to vacation with me. They know what I’m faithful to. They know when I’m annoyed. They laugh with me. They know how to be present. They speak the truth even when I don’t want to hear it. They know my important people. We have separate lives that either can cross over into. We want to spend time together. We want to spend time apart. We share life.

Many of my friends fulfill some of these roles in my life. And I love each of you for it. I also have a theory on friends living together. It’s bad. Often it doesn’t work. There is another level of partnership required in living together that’s beyond friendship and it can get messy in a hurry. [Dear Future Husband, Please ignore this next part.] I actually think I’m difficult to live with sometimes. So, most relationships are better when you can pop by for a visit rather than the 24/7 thing.

The other characteristics about these two is that they innately know me and they always did and I think they always will. I can explain and explore and describe and they patiently await my conclusions, no matter how different they are from what I was thinking 15 minutes prior. I can be fickle, indecisive, grouchy, curious, confused, excited, strange, kooky and normal. Megan and Sarah don’t bat an eye.

I also love that they have never met, yet they know exactly who Sarah is and exactly who Megan is.

Why isn’t heterosexual life partner more normal? I don’t understand. 



  1. so how does that differ from the word friend?

    1. no, Anonymous, you're totally right. except for me, the HLP is both a) a friend I can actually life with [I'm very fickle about the people I live with...and by that I mean I'm difficult to live with] and b) like the level above BFF, you know? because I have BFFs that are not compatible in the co-habitating with me department.

      mostly I just think it's funny to say, please don't take me seriously.

      people google this phrase all the time and wind up here. I'm so curious as to why people google it. does it mean something else? I guess it could be, two self-identified heterosexual individuals who want to live together, but why are you googling it? plus I have a tendency to use phrases that mean things that I don't think they mean and because I don't know that they mean I apparently use them in an inappropriate way. oh well.