February 8, 2014

Caress smells like rebellion

As a child, I drove my parents crazy between my stubbornness and a bit lot of an I Do What I Want attitude. The reality is, as much as it made them want to shut me in my room, my inclination toward being a pain in the butt served them well. The worst thing I ever did: I went out with friends in high school to drink and I was the designated driver. Then I sobbed through my confession of not drinking and being the one to drive my friends so we'd be safe. First/last/only time that happened.
My stubbornness made me as defiant to my peers *gasp* what are you doing?! as it did to my elders.

Yeah, I was one wild and crazy kid.
sixth grade.jpg
Can I get a holla for figuring out my hair? 

When I entered middle school, I discovered the glory that was Teen and Seventeen magazine. My mother was not impressed, I'm pretty sure the conversation went something like:

Mom: What are you reading?
amy: Magazines.
Mom: What magazines?
amy: Teen and Seventeen.
Mom: Let me look at those. *glances through* Where did you get these?
amy: The library.
Mom: You're 12. You don't need to read a magazine called Teen until you're a teenager and Seventeen until you're 17.


amy: YOU NEVER LET ME DO WHAT I WANT!!! *huffing* *foot stomping* *door slamming*

OK, I might not remember exactly what I said or exactly what my mom said, but I was pretty much banned from the magazine world except for Taste of Home, some Christian teen magazine [?], and something related to learning.

The thing is, I could get my grubby pre-teen paws on these illicit publications in the library AND my middle school BFF's older sister had subscriptions to Teen, Seventeen, and Cosmopolitan. [I cannot even tell you how much Cosmo taught me about sex--JAW DROPPING.]

Puh-lease. I will win this battle and fill my mind with inappropriateness, Mother. *eye roll*

In one issue of a magazine, there was a free sample of Caress body wash with a pouf. You just sent in the postcard [didn't even need a stamp] and waited a few weeks for your sample to arrive. I mailed the ad from my hidden copy immediately. FREE STUFF! The problem was, when it arrived how was I going to pass off how I came to have this fancy pouf and body wash?
I'm pretty sure it looked exactly like this.

Luckily, I'm sneaky [except not really] and I figured out how to get the package into my room without anyone seeing it [no one actually cared]. I rubbed my hands over the surprisingly soft pouf [these things were not everywhere in 1994 the way they are now] and sniffed the sweet peach-citrus body wash.

I was so grown up. Need I remind you about the photo at the top of this post?

With my Caress body wash and pouf in the shower, I bathed in the glory of my defiance. I exfoliated all the good girl grit covering my body. I washed my way into age thirteen.

Because I was a rebel.
I was a peachy smelling, soft-skinned rebel.


  1. I'm going to say just this….you remember things a bit differently than I do…..and I have no recollection of the magazine "controversy" but I don't want to spoil your story. =-) Love you my stubborn rebel.

    1. what I'm hearing you say is that you doubt my memories...even the funny ones...that are correct. I don't remember the exact conversation, but I definitely remember being sneaky about my free sample of Caress. haha (-:

      love you too!

  2. Thanks for a much needed laugh today! Great title for a great story. I will never think the same about Caress!

    1. woot-woot! I'm glad you got a chuckle! I still love Caress, there's a bottle in my shower right now. (-:

  3. The Christian Teen Magazine: Brio? That's the one I read. Subscriptions were free (there was a "suggested donation") and it was published by Focus on the Family.

    1. that may have been the one, Sarah. I read it sparingly as the articles were not as interesting as "19 ways to make your crush want you." (-: