January 12, 2013

Bruno Mars: Unorthodox Jukebox

I firmly believe that music is subjective [unless it's complete crap a la William Shatner] and we are all entitled to love or hate artists like Ke$ha [hate], Sara B [love], Tay-tay [meh], Mr. Mraz [love], Beibs [meh], or T.Keith [hate].
It's an opinion.
It's mine.
It's yours.

These are my opinions on the Bruno's new album. In the past I have found myself to enjoy his poppy beat and catchy tunes, so I thought I'd check out his new album. To summarize my thoughts:

  • he sounds a bit like Michael Jackson in many songs
  • he likes the f-word
  • he likes sex
  • he likes seducing women

A specific song I had a reaction to: "Gorilla." It's the third song on the album. It comes after "Locked out of Heaven" [which if you listen to any radio, I'm sure you've heard] and before "Treasure" [pretty much about the same things as every other song].

First things first, everything I know about gorillas I learned from a)Koko's Kitten [an elementary school classic book, which think I checked out from the library about 20 times], b)Return to Me [the romantic drama-dy starring Minnie Driver and David Duchovny], and c)Congo [both the book by Michael Crichton and the movie that followed]. Perhaps my knowledge on gorillas could be expanded.

I did grow up on a farm though, so I have some idea about animal procreation.

When he uses the words "you and me baby making love like gorillas" I pretty much think of that. Of the chickens and dogs and cows and cats on the farm. Of male animal forcing himself on female animal. Bruno Mars, is this what you're trying to imply? You want to copulate like animals? Really?

Because was my favorite was always when the female animal wouldn't take it and bit the male animal and he slinked away like a fool.

Basically, even though this album is on the top 10 list on iTunes, it's pretty much crap. Not bad music, not non-catchy tunes, but crap in the subject matter portion [if you care about that kind of thing]. Not that I don't enjoy a bit of crap now and then, but there's only so many songs I can hear where he's trying to convince whatever woman he's with to take off her clothes.

Ladies, keep your panties on.
He only wants one thing, and it's not your mind.

I'm sorry I said "panties."

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