February 14, 2013

All the Single Ladies

Happy Valentine's Day!

Nothing like a holiday for luv-ahs to make you feel oh, so alone. Not that I'm complaining [I am, but not in an ugly way], but it'd be nice to have someone to give me a Valentine. I'd even take something pathetic, like a heart on a scrap of paper taken out of the recycle bin.

True love comes from the trash, obvi.

Unless you've personally made Valentines on PicMonkey during a few moments of procrastination. As I will now show you, that's real love people.

I call these my Valentines to my Fake Non-existent ManBoyFriend that should be in the I Am Perpetually Single and This Is Why section at Kroger.

You don't get your Valentine's at Kroger? OK, Target then.


Number one:
PicMonkey Sample
Here I am perpetuating the crazy cat lady stereotype. You're welcome.


Next we'll move on to the desperate single girl Valentine.
I just ovulated. I'm not even joking, my ovaries just released an egg. SO.FREAKING.CUTE.

PicMonkey Sample.jpg
Did that scare any men off?
Is anyone there?


And last [but certainly not least] we have the, SWF [you don't have to be white, it's just that I am] seeks FPM [Fictitious Perfect Man].
valentines day.jpg
This is where I live, welcome to my home.


Happy Luv-ahs Day!

I'll be at home crying into my ice cream.
Watching Say Yes to the Dress.
Pinning things on Pinterest.

Kidding, I'm driving to the Fort to work this weekend listening to Josh Groban's new album and lusting after his voice. BE JEALOUS...or go make-out with your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover. Your choice.

love you people.