sac·ri·fice[sak-ruh-fahys] noun, verb, sac·ri·ficed, sac·ri·fic·ing.
1. the offering of animal, plant, or human life or of some material possession to a deity, as in propitiation or homage.
2. the person, animal, or thing so offered.
3. the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.
4. the thing so surrendered or devoted.
5. a loss incurred in selling something below its value.
The surrender of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.
I'm not going to lie: I want it all.
I want to be a perfect catch: fun, flirty, opinionated, interesting, sweet, saucy, gentle, kind, loving. I want to be desirable to the opposite sex...or what I perceive to be desirable.
I want a job that aligns with my vocation that pays well and allows me a blend of work and vacation and benefits and time with my kids and time to be creative and time to be concrete.
When I strive for it all, I fall short which makes me feel like a failure. When I try to do it all, I don't sleep which makes me unpleasant. When I forget what my priorities are I begin to wander aimlessly which makes me a leaf blowing in the wind. Striving? Failure? Unpleasant? Aimless wandering?
Not where I want to be.
My higher goals right now are to be a good student, to love my friends and family well, to love myself well. I've been lacking because I've spread myself too thin.
So what's my sacrifice? Is it a short-term sacrifice or a long-term sacrifice?
Where do I let this event pass me by? When do I say "no"? How do I take time from this for that? Why did I choose x over z? What decision is right for me? What decision works toward my goals? What decision is good for others? What decision will keep me from getting stuck?
"No, I can't make that trip."
"No, I'm not staying late at work for that person's massage."
"No, I'm not going to stress about dating/being single/pressuring myself to be online."
"No, I need to study and not socialize."
"No, I can't take pictures."
"Yes, I am going to get up on a Sunday morning to go to church."
"Yes, I am going to spend an entire day watching movies, eating soup, baking brownies, and any left over time will be spent in the bathtub." *perfect day*
"Yes, I would love to do dinner."
Time for some big-girl panties.
love you people.